


momentum

by MCUsic_to_my_ears



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008), The Incredible Hulk (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Brian Banner's A+ Parenting, Bruce & Hulk Interaction, Bruce Banner Has Issues, College, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, Murder, Panic Attacks, School, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-01-12 18:32:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18452246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCUsic_to_my_ears/pseuds/MCUsic_to_my_ears
Summary: Bruce liked to pretend he was calloused, that he didn't need a soulmate. He was never good at lying.





	1. ANTICIPATION

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BookWerm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookWerm/gifts).



> I started this in the fall of last year and whoa boy was that a journey! The prompt is from BookWerm, and honestly, I'm so sorry this took forever and probably is nothing like you were expecting! Everything is finished, so stay tuned!

\---

Bruce glanced around the crowded room one last time. Satisfied, he turned on the computer, using the temporary password he bought at the front counter. 

He was only here for a little bit. To send up a signal to the army and then get the hell out of Dodge. 

He did some quick Internet searching, dropping what he knew wasn't a clear trail, and logged out. 

The physicist was halfway out the door when the news scrolling along on the TV in the corner caught his eye. 

An image of his soulmate along with the headline  _ Tony Stark Presumed Dead Almost Three Months After Ambush _ . 

Bruce stared at the commercials until a man shouldered past him, and Bruce blinked, remembering his place. 

He had to move. 

After two close calls on the border of Pakistan, Bruce made it to a small village tucked in the countryside and allowed himself to take stock of his reaction to the news. 

He knew he should be upset. He  _ was _ upset... He just didn't feel empty. He'd read about soul-link phenomenons before, but had always considered them as folk tales, on par with twin telepathy. Even so, he couldn't help but feel a little confused at a near complete lack of mourning. 

Maybe it was the sense of relief that was blotting out the dread. 

Stark... Tony. His soulmate had always been such a source of anxiety for him. It was bad enough that he had to be matched with a (controversial) public figure who didn't seem all too keen on finding him, despite his means. 

Maybe Tony being dead wasn't the worst thing. 

That didn't reassure the uneasiness in his gut, but it at least quelled it enough to let him turn his mind back towards India. 

It was a pure animal instinct that he'd immediately run toward Stark's last known location, he promised himself. 

He had more control. 

\---

 

***

Bruce felt himself vibrating. Betty didn't get home for another twenty minutes, but he already knew what she wanted. 

Her call had been pretty explicit. 

He took another hit, letting the chemicals settle in his lungs before exhaling. Bruce  didn't approve of drugs, but he didn't approve of his sexual dysfunction more.  He repeated the process, trying to relax his bunched up shoulders, trying not to jump every time the apartment settled. 

He didn't like drugs, but he certainly liked Betty and if drugs were the way to keep her, then drugs he would do. 

He heard the door unlocked and put out the joint.  He quickly brushed his teeth and then slowly made his way to the living room. Betty had barely finished putting down her backpack when she saw Bruce and pulled him close, kissing him deeply. 

Bruce squeezed his eyes shut, not kissing back, trying to force the weed he'd just consumed to make it his brain.  Betty drew him towards the bedroom, and he let her. 

_ This is what she wants _ , he told himself.  _ And you want her, so you'll do this.  _

Betty was tugging at his t-shirt, and he startled, before remembering that that's how you  _ have _ sex. Naked. 

He began unbuttoning Betty's blouse--he'd read somewhere that girls found it sexy, maybe. Or a turn on. Were those the same?

He recognized that he was in a spiral the same moment that Betty started to press up against his lower half. 

He jumped. That touch was alien. Nobody should be down there.  His blood ran cold as he backed away.

Betty thought it was a game. "Oh, Bruce," she murmured.  But she realized that something was wrong when her boyfriend started to redress himself.  "Bruce?" She broke out of her sexual haze. "Bruce, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Betty." He swiped away some of his tears. "I love you."

The student tugged his shirt over himself, slipped on beat-up tennis shoes, and was gone.

***

 

\---

He was only passing through New Delhi. 

He shouldn't have been in the city long enough to hear any news about Tony, just to pretend to buy a plane ticket and leave. 

But of course, the International Airport had televisions sporting American news. As if the world weren't whitewashed enough. 

And, of course, the only news in America was about Tony Stark. 

The closed captioning read out:  _... a press conference after only being out of captivity for 48 hours. This man is truly unstoppable _ .

And didn't that send pangs of relief and anxiety through Bruce's veins? 

Only 10% of soulmates actually met. But 65% soulmates with a celebrity meet and as much as his heart yearned to be a part of that percent, his head clenched down on that desire and spat it back out as regret. 

Bruce always knew he was fucked up. 

\---

 

///

"And one day, Tony will come with a big smile on his face and hug you and you'll both go and live far away from here," Bruce's mother whispered to the young boy during the late night. Brian had left the house after screaming at and kicking Bruce for some issue the physicist had had at work. 

Bruce shuddered in memory, tears threatening to fall again. He curled up around his middle protectively. 

Rebecca held him closer as the boy shook through his waking nightmares. 

"Mom," Bruce croaked.

"I know, baby."

///

 

\---

He always seemed to end up back in India. 

Maybe it was the people, maybe it was the food, he didn't know. 

So he was a little surprised this hadn't happened before. "Should have got paid up front, Banner," he muttered to himself. 

"You know, for a man who's supposed to be avoiding stress, you picked a hell of a place to settle." 

Bruce sighed. This was going to cost him. The Other Guy nudged him--progress. Bruce subtly shook his head. "Avoiding stress isn't the secret." 

"Then what is it? Yoga?" 

Bruce sent a warning look inward, before changing the subject. She didn't need that far into his psyche.  "You brought me to the edge of the city, smart. I uh... assume the whole place is surrounded?"

"Just you and me," she lied. 

"And your actress buddy, is she a spy too? Do you start that young now?"

"I did."

He just needed a minute to get this figured out. 

"Who are you?"

"Natasha Romanoff." Something about the way she said her name. The confidence surrounding it, maybe. 

"Are you here to kill me, Miss Romanoff? Because that's not gonna work out for everyone." Although he wouldn't blame her. 

"No. No. Of course not. I'm here on behalf of S.H.I.E.L.D."

"S.H.I.E.L.D." That name sounded familiar. "How did they find me?"

"We never lost you, doctor." That hurt. "We've kept our distance, even helped keep some other interested parties off your scent." 

"Why?"

"Nick Fury-"  _ Who? _ "-seems to trust you. But now I need you to come in."

"What if I say no?" The Other Guy's interest was peaked. 

"I'll persuade you."

"And what if the...Other Guy says no?"

"You've been more than a year without an incident. I don't think you want to break that streak." She wasn't wrong.

"I don't get what I want every time." He wasn't wrong.

"Doctor, we're facing a potential global catastrophe."

"Well, those I actively try to avoid."

"This is the Tesseract. It has the potential energy to wipe out the planet."

"What does Fury want me to do? Swallow it?"

"Well, he wants you to find it. It's been taken. It emits a gamma signature that's too weak for us to trace. There's no one that knows gamma radiation like  you do. If there was, that's where I'd be."

"So Fury isn't after the monster?" The Other Guy didn't like this.

"Not that he's told me."

"And he tells you everything?"

"Talk to Fury. He needs you on this."

"He needs me in a cage?" The Other Guy was unhappy. 

"No one's gonna put you in a..."

"Stop lying to me!" Gun in his face. The Other Guy was pissed. "I'm sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you'd do. Why don't we do this the easy way, where you don't use that, and the other guy doesn't make a mess? Okay? Natasha."

"Stand down." Of course. "We're good here."

"Just you and me?" 

She smiled wanly and he knew he was in it. 

\---

 

***

Bruce recognized that he was very lucky his wallet had still been in his pants. And his student ID. 

The bus fare had cost him a fortune, but he needed this. 

MIT was functionally closed due to the five feet of snow pounding down on Boston, but there had still been a few security guards, professors, and grad students seemingly unaware of the storm coming down on them. Bruce used that to his advantage as he slipped into Huntington Hall. 

He's read in a magazine that this was the room where Tony had taken his Biochemistry credit. That every day he'd sat in the same seat that Bruce was sitting in now. 

Bruce hated knowing so much about Tony, but never actually knowing  _ him _ . 

Knowing that Tony had been with so many people, but never once tried to find the one person he was meant to be with.

Bruce should have hated Tony, but he could never quite bring himself to do it. 

***

 

\---

It was dark, but the blue light running through the Quinjet was enough to light up the back of the pilot's head. 

Natasha sat across from him, reading through a tablet identical to the one she had handed him. "Read up," she'd said. 

He studied the redhead over his glasses, feeling a bit like a teenager again. 

He hated her, but he liked her. He was terrified of everything that she was an omen of, but she had this sense of completion about her. Maybe it was jealousy. 

He thought,  _ Why can't she be my soulmate?  _ childishly. 

To distract himself, he opened up the files on the tablet. 

There were two folders. One was personnel, the other was about the Tesseract. 

He skimmed through the latter, before jumping to the former. 

His fingers hovered over the file labeled 'Tony Stark'.

Finally, he shook his head. He didn't want any more of someone else's opinion of his soulmate. 

If Stark really was coming in, then he'd be making his own soon enough. 

Instead, the physicist clicked on Natasha's name. There had to be some explanation in here as to why he felt so connected to the spy. 

\---

 

***

Bruce heard Betty enter the chemistry lab. He didn't look. Just kept slipping sample after sample under the light microscope and pretending that the data he wasn't recording was meaningless. That he wouldn't have to do all of it again the next day. 

He had been in the lab for almost eighteen hours now, coming here immediately after returning from MIT, alone with those samples and that microscope and the chart with statistically insignificant data inside. 

Betty didn't exactly look impressed. 

But he couldn't bring himself to go back to their apartment after he'd run out on their last failed sexual encounter. 

He knew he looked gaunt--he had only eaten a sleeve of Ritz crackers that he'd left in his lab locker--and that he smelled--he hadn't showered in three days and was wearing the same outfit that he'd put on in a hurry. 

She sat. 

Didn't speak. 

Bruce kept working. Hoped she'd just go away. He had no words. 

Betty waited for him to set aside his latest slide before she grabbed his hands. 

He deflated.

"I miss you."

"I should go." Bruce pulled away from her loose grip. He turned his back to her. 

"Bruce-"

"I'm sorry, okay, Betty?" He faced her. "I'm sorry. I fucked up. I'll get my stuff tonight. I'll... I'll find- somewhere." He shoved his wrinkled jacket into his worn backpack, exhaustion beating down on him. The cold lab floors and nightmares didn't make for a good night's sleep. 

"Bruce, I'm not upset. I just think we need to talk about this." 

"I know. I'm going." He was almost to the door. 

"Bruce stop it. Just stop it." She grabbed his arm, forcing him to turn. "Get out of your head for five seconds so that I can tell you that I'm sorry."

Bruce stilled. "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who fucked it up. Who can't fucking-" He motioned to his lower half angrily, out of words. 

"Bruce, I love you. Don't do this." 

"I just... I need some time."

"Okay," she whispered. "Just tell me-  _ promise _ me you'll come home." 

"Okay."

"Promise," she begged. 

"I promise."

***

 

\---

He felt out of his skin. Well, he always felt out of his skin, but sitting on the Helicarrier, Bruce felt unnervingly more out of his skin than usual. And he couldn't place it either, which made things worse. The Other Guy was crawling around, loose anger bouncing around inside Bruce. 

He pulled his sleeve down, and Natasha gave him a curious look. 

Her own name was covered by a leather jacket. 

She subtly shifted him behind her as a small plane landed. 

"Stow the captain's gear," a suit directed. Bruce felt himself duck a little at the soft command contained in the short order. It was military and the Other Guy didn't particularly love it. 

"Yes, sir." A couple of agents scurried onto the Quinjet while Captain America stepped down. The agent led him to where Natasha and Bruce were standing. 

"Agent Romanoff, Captain Rogers," he introduced.

"Ma'am."  _ God, why did he have to be polite too? _ Bruce wondered.  _ You fail to recreate one super soldier serum and you're stuck comparing yourself to a god for the rest of your life. _

"They need you on the bridge. They're starting the face-trace," Natasha informed the agent. 

"See you there."

Bruce felt calmer with each stride added to their distance. 

"There was quite the buzz around here, finding you in the ice. I thought Coulson was gonna swoon. Did he ask you to sign his Captain America trading cards yet?" 

"Trading cards?" At least he was as awkward as Bruce. 

"They're vintage, he's very proud."

Bruce shifted slightly and sudden the Captain was in his line of sight. 

"Dr. Banner."

Bruce blinked before he shook his hand. "Oh, yeah. Hi. They told me you'd be coming," he mumbled. 

"Word is you can find the cube."

"Is that the only word on me?"

"Only word I care about."  _ Sure _ .

"Must be strange for you, all of this."

"Well, this is actually kind of familiar."  _ No wonder I wasn't the next super soldier. _

Natasha jumped in. "Gentlemen, you may want to step inside in a minute. It's going to get a little hard to breathe."

Agents were scuttling about, securing planes and rushing equipment inside. 

"Is this is a submarine?"

"Really? They wanted me in a submerged pressurized metal container?"  _ God, S.H.I.E.L.D. really doesn't know what it's doing. _ And then the Helicarrier began to rise in the air. "Oh, no. This is much worse."

He was pissed that they didn't warn him so he couldn't warn the Other Guy, but he also couldn't help himself from childishly thinking,  _ I've never been this high up before. _

\---

 

///

Bruce urged himself higher, legs kicking. If could swing high enough, the boy reasoned, he could be safe. He could jump and fly and-

Laughter broke through his concentration. He lost his rhythm and the swing came to a stop. 

A couple of fourth graders were pointing from the other side of the playset, giggling about whatever was weird about Bruce that day. He blinked at them, unsure of what to do. There was something about this distant mockery that made Bruce question its validity. 

Two of the boys began walking toward Bruce. He hopped off the swing and ducked his head, trying to make it to the kickball game. 

He was too slow. 

"I heard that Stark Industries has the ability to track any soulmates in America," the older boy announced to his friend. 

The second bully snickered before agreeing, "Yeah. You must be pretty screwed up for your soulmate to not find you when they have that much power."   
Bruce's cheeks burned. 

The two boys continued to speak to each other loudly about how powerful Tony was and how messed up Bruce must be. 

Bruce couldn't make himself disagree. 

///

 

\---

Bruce trailed Natasha into the labs. 

After meeting the allegedly famous Director Fury and conversing with the soldier he'd failed to become, Bruce was happy to be among what he knew:  gamma spectrographs. Moreover, Bruce was happy to be with Natasha. 

Although Fury didn't exactly reassure Bruce with his "until we find the cube", Natasha's quiet presence made him feel as if escape weren't impossible. 

He fiddled around with the monitors in the room, beginning to outline a searching algorithm. 

Then Natasha informed him she had to go, that Loki had been spotted in Germany. He waved her off. 

It was only five minutes before Agent Coulson 'wandered' in. 

"Quite the set up you've got here," Coulson noted. 

"I could say the same to you."

The agent nodded blandly. 

They were quiet for a moment. 

Bruce continued to type. 

"So who sent you to babysit?" Bruce asked finally. 

"I am the handler for you all... It's not so much babysitting as it is my job. Especially with you and Rogers."

Bruce snorted, barely concealing resentment. "The Captain certainly does seem to have a hold on things." 

Coulson shrugged in agreement. "Of course, I see him through the lens of a childhood hero, so perhaps I'm not the least biased on the subject." 

"Yeah, well I'm with you there." 

The agent nodded, but his eyes betrayed minute distraction. Bruce heard why in the tinny comm.  _ Codename Iron Man has arrived on the scene. _

Bruce's heart skipped a beat. 

\--- 


	2. OVERDRAW

***

Cars rushed under him through the overpass, unaware of the crisis jolting through Bruce's conscience. 

On top of the bridge, pedestrians gave the college student weird looks, but they all gave him a wide berth and hurried away as if he'd infect them. 

He thought,  _ If this is my out, then it's the best one yet.  _ And _ , I've never been this high up before. _

A resounding,  _ No more,  _ echoed in his head before he can make any more decisions, and Bruce couldn't help the feeling of deja vu that settled in his bones. 

He left. 

***

 

///

"Mommy?" 

It was dead of night. Rebecca was tucking him in. Brian wasn't home. It was safe. 

"Yes, baby?"

Bruce wrapped his arms around his bruised torso. "Why hasn't Tony come to rescue me?" he whispered. 

Bruce could hear the tears in her eyes, but he couldn't see them. "Oh honey," she murmured. "Tony's still little like you. He can't."

"Okay."

Rebecca pressed a kiss on his forehead. 

He waited until he heard her downstairs before he began sobbing. 

///

 

\---

"Boot."

The god smirked. "It's an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me."

Bruce shifted uncomfortably. 

"Built for something a lot stronger than you," Fury corrected. 

For some reason, as if he knew Bruce was watching, that was what prompted Loki to look into the camera. "Oh, I've heard." Bruce felt eyes on him, but he didn't look away from the monitor. "The mindless beast makes play he's still a man. How desperate are you, that you call upon such lost creatures to defend you?"

Fury looked appalled. "How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can't hope to control. You talk about peace and you kill `cause it's fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did," the director threatened. 

"Ooh. It burns you to come so close. To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share, and then to be reminded what real power is," Loki teased. 

The director rolled his eyes. "Well, you let me know if Real Power wants a magazine or something." 

Natasha snorted before silence overtook them. 

"He really grows on you, doesn't he?" 

Rogers ignored Bruce, starting up some shop talk about how to defeat the army Loki apparently had on retainer. Bruce threw in some of his own thoughts before the conversation devolved into banter. 

This was going to be a long "until he found the cube."

\---

 

***

Betty sighed deeply when Bruce entered his apartment. 

She pulled him close, hugging him fiercely despite him smelling like piss and vomit and sweat. 

He didn't hug her back. Just stood there disjointedly, unsure of how he got there. 

Betty murmured to him to go to bed, that he would feel better after he slept. 

Bruce was numb but he wasn't stupid, and he did what she told him. 

***

 

\---

"Iridium, what did they need the Iridium for?"

"It's a stabilizing agent." 

Bruce's mind stumbled. He missed Tony's- Stark's next few words 

"He turns," a female agent responded. 

"Well, that sounds exhausting." Stark quipped, fingers running along the bottom of the monitors. "The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube," Stark explained. 

"When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?" the agent inquired. 

"Last night. The packet, Selvig's notes, the Extraction Theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?" He looked around. 

"Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?" The Captain's question pulled Bruce out of his stupor. 

"He's got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier," Bruce supplied automatically. 

Stark turned on him as if seeing Bruce for the first time.  _ Prepare for disappointment _ , Bruce thought absently. 

Tony considered. "Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect." 

"Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet," Bruce returned easily. 

The watched each other. 

"Finally, someone who speaks English," Tony beamed. 

"Is that what just happened?" the Captain muttered as Tony approached his soulmate. 

Their eyes locked. 

_ This is first contact, _ Bruce realized. 

Tony extended his hand. After a moment's hesitation, Bruce shook his hand. He felt their bond singing inside him, but nausea still climbed up his throat.

Tony didn't seem to notice anyway. 

"It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner." Bruce watched him. "Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled."  _ That's good _ . "And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster."  _ That hurt. _

"Thanks," he muttered, looking away. 

Fury entered the room. "Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube. I was hoping you might join him." Tony nodded slightly. Bruce couldn't stop the swell of hope rise in him. 

"Let's start with that stick of his," Rogers suggested. "It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon."

Bruce stopped listening. Started looking at Tony. 

Tony's eyes seemed to be trying to ask Bruce something, but Bruce didn't know what. 

Finally, Tony subtly motioned his wrist.  _ Oh. _

Bruce shook his head. 

It wasn't worth mentioning something that the others already knew and further exposing himself. 

Tony nodded. Then, he cocked his head. "Shall we play, doctor?" 

"This way, sir," Bruce mumbled. 

\---

 

///

Bruce didn't remember how he got the window open, just that it was and that he was sitting on the ledge.  _ I've never been this high up before _ , Bruce thought quietly. 

He felt himself fall, wasn't sure if he jumped, but then he was on the ground and his arm  _ hurt _ and everything throbbed and someone that wasn't there told him,  _ No more _ before his vision blacked out. 

He awakened up to his mom wrapping a splint and his arm. She murmured platitudes and apologized about his father. 

He didn't correct her. 

Brian didn't notice. 

He didn't go to the emergency room. 

He cried himself to sleep from then on. 

///

 

***

Betty was on the phone outside the door when Bruce woke up. 

His head was foggy, and he found himself either unable or unwilling to move out of the warm bed. 

He heard the words "hospitalization" and "depressed" and "suicidal." 

It wasn't the first time. But it was the first time it wasn't to him. 

He loudly stumbled out of the bed with a sudden surge of nameless emotion. He started a shower, wiping away the grime from days of emptiness.  Betty was gone when he got out. 

***

 

\---

Bruce was trying to ignore Tony- Stark. 

But it was a little difficult when he kept sending data Bruce's way along with terrifyingly imploring looks. 

"The gamma readings are definitely consistent with Selvig's reports on the Tesseract. But it's gonna take weeks to process," Bruce finally reported. 

"If we bypass their mainframe and direct a reroute to the Homer cluster, we can clock this around six hundred teraflops," Stark replied easily. 

"All I packed was a toothbrush," Bruce joked. 

Tony returned his smile. "You know, you should come by Stark Towers sometime. Top ten floors, all R&D. You'd love it, it's candy land." 

Bruce swallowed. "Thanks, but the last time I was in New York I kind of broke... Harlem," Bruce excused. If only Stark knew how dangerous his words were. 

"Well, I promise a stress-free environment. No tension. No surprises." His words were quietly desperate. 

But then Bruce was being jabbed and the Captain was bearing down on Tony. 

"Hey! Are you nuts?"  _ That hurts _ .

"You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?"  _ That... was odd. _

"Is everything a joke to you?"

"Funny things are." Bruce smiled slightly at Tony's- Stark's petulance. 

"Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn't funny." Rogers realized who was in his company. "No offense, doctor."

"No, it's alright," Bruce promised. "I wouldn't have come aboard if I couldn't handle pointy things." 

Tony looked upset at his response. 

"You're tiptoeing, big man. You need to strut," Tony encouraged. It sounded an awful lot like, 'I trust you.'

Rogers redirected, "And you need to focus on the problem, Mr. Stark." 

"You think I'm not?" Tony turned on the Captain, offended. "Why did Fury call us and why now? Why not before? What isn't he telling us? I can't do the equation unless I have all the variables." He looked at Bruce for some sort of alliance. Bruce glanced away. 

"You think Fury's hiding something?" 

"He's a spy. Captain, he's the spy. His secrets have secrets." Tony pointed at Bruce. "It's bugging him too, isn't it? 

Bruce spooked a little, language flying out of his mind. Clearly, he reflected, his message wasn't getting across. "Uh...I just wanna finish my work here and..." He looked at Tony to tell him, 'Leave me out of this'. 

"Doctor?" Rogers prodded. 

Bruce sighed. "'A warm light for all mankind', Loki's jab at Fury about the cube," he started.

He nodded. "I heard it."

"Well, I think that was meant for you." He nodded to Tony. "Even if Barton didn't post that all over the news."

"Stark Tower?" Rogers asked. "That big ugly-" Tony gave him a look. "-building in New York?"

"It's powered by Stark Reactors, self-sustaining energy source. That building will run itself for what, a year?" 

Tony nodded. "That's just the prototype. I'm kind of the only name in clean energy right now," he bragged. 

"So, why didn't S.H.I.E.L.D. bring him in on the Tesseract project? I mean, what are they doing in the energy business in the first place?" 

"I should probably look into that once my decryption program finishes breaking into all of S.H.I.E.L.D's secure files."

Rogers blinked at him. "I'm sorry, did you say...?" 

"J.A.R.V.I.S. has been running it since I hit the bridge," Tony explained. "In a few hours, we'll know every dirty secret S.H.I.E.L.D. has ever tried to hide."

Tony held out a bag. "Blueberry?" 

\---

 

***

Betty came back with dinner. She didn't mention her phone call. She briefly updated him on his classes and he informed her about the small progress he had made in the lab. 

They went to bed in different rooms that night. 

Bruce woke up to her alarm anyway. 

***

 

\---

Bruce shook his head as Tony explained that he had an  _ AI _ digging through S.H.I.E.L.D's files and then Rogers was storming off. 

"That's the guy my dad never shut up about? Wondering if they shouldn't have kept him on ice." 

Bruce shook his head. "The guy's not wrong about Loki. He does have the jump on us."

"What he's got is an ACME dynamite kit. It's gonna blow up in his face, and I'm gonna be there when it does."

"And I'll read all about it," Bruce reminded lowly. 

"Uh-huh." Tony studied him. "Or you'll be suiting up like the rest of us."

Bruce faced his soulmate, flashes of the Other Guy's anger spitting up to him. "Ah, see." He grimaced. "I don't get a suit of armor. I'm exposed, like a nerve." Bruce took a deep breath. "It's a nightmare." 

"You know, I've got a cluster of shrapnel, trying every second to crawl its way into my heart." Tony tapped the arc reactor. "This stops it. This little circle of light. It's part of me now, not just armor. It's a..." He searched for the words. "...terrible privilege."

"But you can control it," Bruce argued.

Tony corrected. "Because I learned how." He words meant nothing in comparison to the pool of longing in his eyes. 

"It's different." Bruce turned away and began sifting through data, face burning. Until Tony slid all of the information aside and they were making eye contact. 

"Hey," Tony said lowly, chin dipping. "I've read all about your accident. That much gamma exposure should have killed you." 

"So you're saying that the Hulk... the Other Guy... saved my life?" But all Bruce could focus on was 'read all about you'. 

Tony started to talk, but Bruce cut him off. Latent anger filled him as he processed Stark's words. "That's nice." He snorted. "It's a nice sentiment. Saved it for what?"

Stark blinked, taken aback. Finally, he murmured, "I guess we'll find out." 

Stark went to another monitor, oddly subdued. 

"You might not like that," Bruce warned. 

"You just might." 

\---

 

///

His mom wasn't home. She had left a note on the counter. 'Out to get groceries. Be home soon.'

She never went out this late. 

Bruce braced himself for what was to come. 

///

 

\---

"Did you know about this?" Bruce asked aghast. 

"You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?" Romanoff suggested. 

"I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed," Bruce sniped defensively. 

"Loki's manipulating you," she reminded him.

"And you've been doing what exactly?" Bruce lashed out. 

"You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you." 

Bruce moved in. "Yes, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy." He addressed the room. "I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction." 

"Because of him." Fury pointed at Thor, driving the room into a mess of arguments weaving together.

Bruce felt the Other Guy curling his fingers around the base of his skull, warm and wanting. 

"You speak of control, yet you court chaos," Thor argued. 

"It's his M.O., isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team?" Bruce shook his head, jostling the Other Guy's grip. "No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're... we're a time-bomb. 

Fury's gaze hardened on Bruce. "You need to step away." 

Tony slung an arm around Rogers. "Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?" The Other Guy nodded his approval of Bruce's soulmate. Inwardly, Bruce glared at him, missing Rogers and Stark's argument. 

He resurfaced to catch the end and mumbled, "Yeah, this is a tee..."

Fury caught him and ordered, "Agent Romanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner back to his..."

"Where? You rented my room." The Other Guy slammed his agitation into Bruce's response. 

"The cell was just in case..."

"In case you needed to kill me, but you can't! I know! I tried!" 

The room stopped. Tony looked so torn open, but Bruce felt far worse, the Other Guy breathing down his neck. 

\---

 

///

"Bruce, sweetie."

"Mom?"

"Hi there." Rebecca smiled down at her son. 

Downstairs, Brian was snoring loudly. They were safe.

"What's wrong?" She didn't come into his room for no reason. 

"You read my note earlier?"

"Yes..." he whispered. 

Rebecca smiled sadly, "It was a lie."

Bruce's heart clamped down on itself. 

Time stopped. 

"I was at a safe home. I'm getting help, baby." 

"Mom-" Tears burned in his eyes. "You shouldn't have done that." 

"Robert." 

Bruce closed his eyes, knowing what was coming. 

"I think for the first time in your pathetic life, you're right," Brian growled from the door frame. 

Bruce screamed as Brian dragged his mother out to their bedroom. 

///

 

\---

"I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the Other Guy spit it out. So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good, until you-" He looked at an unnerved Natasha "-dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk!" The Other Guy moved into Bruce's space. "You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?" 

The Hulk watched the firearms slowly become unholstered. He grinned. 

"Doctor Banner..." Rogers intoned slowly."Put down the scepter."

The Hulk growled at the Captain's observance of his acts that Bruce missed. 

The screen beeped, shocking Bruce forward. He put the scepter down as Tony announced, "Got it." 

"Sorry, kids. You don't get to see my little party trick after all," Bruce muttered. 

Rogers and Tony got into another argument, but Bruce remained watching the screens. He barely managed to shout, "Oh, my God!" before an explosion rang out aboard the Helicarrier and Bruce dropped out of his body and the Hulk fell down into the storage room. 

Bruce stayed present for only fleeting moments before his pounding heart turned in the Hulk's favor. 

\---

 

***

They were so close. Bruce could feel it. 

They had been slaving in the lab for days on end, getting closer and closer to a solution. 

They were out of mice, out of money, almost out of time if they wanted to keep their backing. 

"Bruce you can't."

"Betty-"

"No. I'm putting my foot down, this is ridiculous."

"Please, I'm just-"

"I said no. I'm tired of this- this recklessness. You're just trying to hurt yourself!"

Bruce looked away, ashamed at her plausible fiction. He wasn't sure if he was either way. 

"Think about it from everyone else's perspective: it won't be credible, or replicable."

"Betty, we're so close. I'm confident that this is the combination."

"And I'm confident that even if it is, it's not worth it."

"Betty we're out of options."

"No. Just you are."

Bruce was alone. 

***

 

\---

Bruce flooded back into his body in a jolt, senses screaming at him to get up, get moving, get out. His bones disagreed. 

"You fell out of the sky." 

Bruce jerked around to find the source of the voice. 

_ Gun _ , the Other Guy informed him. 

_ Wait _ , Bruce demanded. 

"Did I hurt anybody?" 

The security guard shook his head. "There's nobody around here to get hurt." He chuckled. "You did scare the hell out of some pigeons though." 

"Lucky." He attempted to sit up fully, but rubble scattered and he was unable to find traction. 

The guard shrugged. "Or just good aim. You were awake when you fell."

"You saw?"  _ And you're still here? _

"The whole thing, right through the ceiling. Big and green and buck ass nude. Here..." He threw Banner a pair of big pants. "I didn't think those would fit you until you shrunk down to a regular size fella." 

"Thank you." Bruce pulled the pants on gratefully. 

"Are you an alien?"

"What?" 

"From outer space, an alien?" 

"No." Although it felt true sometimes. 

"Well then, son, you've got a condition." 

Bruce couldn't help but disagree. 

The man helped him to his feet and allowed silence while he led Bruce to his jeep. 

"I'm going back to my station. You got anyone to call?"

Bruce shook his head. "You don't-"

"Son, I've seen many wayward folk on these roads. You ain't the first and you ain't gonna be the last. I get them all a warm meal, a jacket, and a bus ticket."

"Okay," Bruce whispered. 

The guard gave him a worn smile before opening the passenger side door to the rusted car. 

Bruce crawled in and shuddered at the cool leather. 

The drive was quiet. 

The old man's station turned out to be a cluttered one-room shack with a staticking TV with aluminum foil wrapped around the antenna and a calendar still turned to February. 

The guard tilted one of the antenna half an inch to the left and the TV shifted to a local news station. 

The volume was down low, but the image of a scar on the cloudless sky pouring black specks of alien technology into the Manhattan skyline communicated the idea well enough. 

"That doesn't look so good." The man puttered around his desk, taking off his hat. 

Bruce stared at the screen. 

"Where are we?"

The guard gave him a weary look. "We're outside of Armonk."

"New York?"

The man nodded. 

"I have to get to Manhattan. I have to- to help."

The guard stared at the television for a long time. "Reckon the big guy will come out?" he asked. 

Bruce glanced inward. 

The Other Guy smirked at him. 

"He will." 

\---

 

///

"Neither of you fucking think! You just flit through life as if there aren't consequences. I'm here to teach you that your actions don't exist in a fucking vacuum."

Bruce looked to his mother, who cowered behind Brian. 

"Go to your room! I'll deal with your pathetic ass later. You are in so much trouble, Robert."

His shaking legs carried him to his bed. He heard the front door slam shut and then his mother scream and then nothing. 

Bruce didn't cry but he wished he would. 

///

 

\---

The motorbike that the security guard lent Bruce zipped around parked car after parked car. With each passing minute, he felt the Other Guy grow louder and louder in his head.  _ Soon _ , Bruce promised. 

He drove past fleeing residents and upturned cars and first responders until he was standing face to face with the Captain. 

"So, this all seems horrible."

Romanoff studied him. "I've seen worse."

Bruce frowned apologetically. "Sorry."

"No." She looked around. "We could use a little worse."

"Stark? We got him," Steve said over comm. "Just like you said." 

Bruce swallowed. Of course Tony could call him like this. 

"I... I don't see how that's a party..." Romanoff mumbled in response to something said over the comms. 

Tony, in his Ironman suit, swooped down towards where Bruce stood. A giant, whale-shaped alien machine followed him. Bruce watched it barrel towards him in half time. 

Rogers looked at him pleadingly. 

Bruce took a step forward. The Other Guy held out his hand. 

Bruce remembered every hit, every rejection, every time he prayed for Tony to come and every time he didn't. 

"Dr. Banner," Rogers announced. "Now might be a really good time for you to get angry."

Bruce took the Hulk's hand. "That's my secret, Captain." They shook. "I'm always angry." 

His body grew around himself and Bruce blissfully allowed his protector to take over. 

\---


	3. BREAK

\---

Bruce woke up to callused fingers carding through his hair. 

He scrambled away, pain singing in his bones. The Hulk- the Other Guy bracketed his limbs, a comforting gesture. Bruce shrugged him off as his eyes came into focus. 

"Tony?"

"Hey, big guy." Tony let out a long breath. "Hey." 

"Did we-? Are they-?" He looked around wildly, but only saw destruction. 

Tony closed his eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, it's over." He held himself like he wanted to touch, but he restrained himself. "I-" He swallowed. 

Bruce curled his arms around his head, rocking slowly. 

"Where is everyone?" he whispered. 

"They're carting off Loki. Green bean passed out a couple of minutes after we found him." Tony forced a smile. "We're supposed to be meeting them for shawarma soon."

"Oh."

Tony looked conflicted for a moment before he finally admitted. "You were unconscious for almost an hour. I- I wasn't sure if I could move you."

"Oh. Sorry."

"No, it's not- Nevermind." He shook his head. "How do you feel? Do you need anything? I have clothes." Tony held up a huge gray sweatshirt with the SI logo embroidered on the front.

Bruce grimaced a little, before accepting the clothing with a quiet, "Thank you."

Silently, Tony shuffled Bruce toward a bombed-out restaurant where a man was sweeping and the other... Avengers were settled at a long table. Tony helped Bruce down, before dropping next to him, exhausted. 

He kept a watchful eye on Bruce through the whole dinner, never saying a word except for moments before they parted. 

"Come home with me."

Bruce always had a hard time saying no after a transformation. 

\---

 

///

Bruce missed the ducks. The pond outside his English classroom had frozen over and all the ducks had flown south, leaving him with nothing but ice doused trees to stare off at. 

He was sure he was supposed to be writing something down. All the other students were. But his fingers were numb and the pencil looked so much smaller than it should have been. So much more breakable. It had felt like that since last winter. 

It's better this way anyway, he reasons. If he learned, even by accident, his dad would know. Failing grades were always better than a fucked up face. 

Instead, he gazed at the wasteland outside and tried to ignore the churning pit in his stomach. 

///

 

\---

It'd been weeks since Tony asked him home. Bruce tried to leave, but Tony always thought of reasons for him to stay. 

Besides, the bond was happy. The sick feeling in Bruce's stomach he hadn't known he'd had was gone. That had to be worth something. 

Bruce forgave him for all those years of abandonment because Tony let him avoid their bond now. They didn't work in the same lab. Bruce had met Pepper. She's great. He understood. 

So when Tony asked if Bruce wanted to come with him to a park upstate for lunch, Bruce thought it was just another one of his manic ideas to avoid coping.  When Tony exclaimed, "It's a date!", beaming, Bruce startled out of the quiet he'd allowed himself. 

"What about Pepper?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Wouldn't you rather go on a date with her?"

"What? No. Bruce, you know we're not... together, right?" Bruce must have made a face unintentionally because Tony rushed on. "We were, for a month, years ago. But she- we. I'd much rather be with you. We let the public think we're something, but we're just friends. I promise." 

Bruce mumbled, "Okay" and then they were driving lazily north. 

They hiked half a mile with twin backpacks from the shady spot Tony parked in. They stared out at the setting sun, holding sandwiches Tony had prepared, the cooling breeze ushering a welcome calm. Bruce began packing away the remains from their meal and Tony smiled softly. 

"I always dreamed about this."

"This?"

Tony gave Bruce a funny look. "You. Me, together. Just quiet and-" 

"Yeah," Bruce replied flatly. 

"Bruce, do you- Hey, look at me. Please."

The physicist turned, arms wrapped around himself. This was the inadequacy he had been expecting. 

"My... dad found you when I was two. He told me you were 'unsuitable'. He wouldn't let me meet you. I tried in college, but he always sent someone to find me. Stop me. By the time he died, I had given up. We seemed so hopeless." 

Bruce shook his head. 

"I know... I know your dad hurt you in... unspeakable ways, Bruce." 

"Tony-" 

"Howard never hit me. But he still hurt me, Bruce. You can understand that, right?" 

"Yes." 

"I always... longed for you, Bruce. I never thought I was able to have this." He took Bruce's hands into his own. "I'm so glad fate proved me wrong."

Bruce stared at their joined hands for a long moment. "Okay," he whispered. 

\---

 

///

Brian wasn't home. 

When he wasn't home by five o'clock, then he wouldn't be back until one AM. Bruce knew that. But he couldn't stop his fingers from shaking as he plucked the stray article out of the trash. It's forbidden. He'd get in trouble if Brian found out but his heart hurt and his mom wasn't there to tell him about Tony anymore. He had to. The bond wouldn't let him stop. 

He'd seen the title for just a split second the day before when Brian had thrown it at him. 

_ Stark Industries Fundraiser Reveals New Faces _

Bruce scanned the article quickly. Searching,  _ searching _ , when finally. " _ Howard Stark's son, Anthony, was also in attendance, the fourth public appearance this year. Does this mark a new age in the SI persona? _ "

A small picture of Tony. The bond rang in joy. Tension rushed of out Bruce. 

"Okay." 

///

 

\---

Somehow, the quiet was welcome enough to cover their limbs entangling. 

"Let's go home." 

Bruce nodded, pulling apart from their cocoon. They packed up their blanket into a backpack. 

Tony drove, giving Bruce long, sideways glances. Bruce stared out the rolled down windows, thirty minutes of silence faded away and suddenly, the car was no longer moving. 

Bruce caught Tony watching him as he turned to ask what they were to do next. 

He shrunk a little under the attention, but pushed ahead. 

The lights in the penthouse were low when they arrived and Tony didn't correct it. He murmured, "No wine tonight."

_ No wine every night,  _ Bruce thought absently. 

They wound up lounging in Tony's bed, their proximity diminishing with each minute. 

They faced each other by chance momentarily and Tony leaned in slowly. 

Bruce put a hand to Tony's chest. "Stop." 

\---

 

***

He knew she was waiting for him. Probably had an alarm set for each call. Bruce had promised her that he would be right there. That was four hours ago.  His nerves were high, but his hands were steady. 

This was the only way to salvage the funding for their research. 

He ran cable from the control panels to the experiment chamber. Everything was aligned. He strapped himself in, closing his eyes. He knew this would work.

He had run the calculations a thousand times. He had this. 

His eyes flicked open. 

"Bruce, what the hell-" 

"Betty-" 

He hit the button before she could get any closer. 

She was too close. 

He was gone. 

The Hulk was here. 

Betty was hurt. 

Bruce wouldn't let himself into the hospital. 

Neither would her father. 

***

 

///

Bruce crushed the weeks-dead flowers in his hand before releasing the dust into the wind. 

Another reminder of his failure. Another missed anniversary. 

Tears no longer formed as he looked at the too true words:  _ Rebecca Banner: Loving Mother and Wife _ .

His slowly rising panic leapt in his throat. He knew he was in trouble before he heard the tires roaring across the asphalt. 

"Robert, get your ass in this car." 

Bruce didn't move. 

"Now, Robert."

He turned. 

Brian was now towering over him, although Bruce didn't remember hearing him walk. 

Hands moving on their own, Bruce watched as he blocked a hit. 

Furious, Brian pushed Bruce back against the grave. 

Bruce woke up with blood in his blunt fingernails. He didn't clean his hands. 

When he saw his father's cracked open skull moments later, he vomited. 

///

 

\---

"What's wrong?" Tony whispered. 

"I can't... this has gone wrong before."

"It's just kissing. No funny business, I promise." 

Bruce pulled away. 

"Bruce?" 

The bathroom door was locked before Tony was on his feet. 

Bruce thought he was over this, but his heart pounded. 

"Bruce, please talk to me. I promise it's okay!" 

Bruce stared at the name on his wrist and sobbed. 

\---


	4. RECONCILIATION

***

His feet were silent across the thick forest brush. His brain was in overdrive, straining to hear the army pouring after him into the jungle. 

He felt their chokehold tightening around him.

_ Hulk help _ .

Bruce nearly stumbled. 

_ No _ . 

The Hulk was stronger. 

This was first contact. This was pain. 

***

 

\---

There's even breathing on the other side of the door. 

Bruce risked looking up. "J.A.R.V.I.S?" he whispered. 

"Yes, sir."

Bruce listened. 

Tony was still asleep. 

"I have to go. I have to get out of here." He paused. "Can you help me? Please?"

The AI stayed silent. 

"Can you- I can't leave this room with Tony out there. Can you... get him to leave? Please?"

"Dr. Banner, I find it very unlikely that Mr. Stark would want you to leave."

"I'll come back. I just... I need some time. "

"As you wish sir."

Bruce fell asleep.

\---

 

///

Bruce didn't know what had happened. But he knew he couldn't stay here and he couldn't lie. 

His father's body was quickly paling, deflating almost. As if all of the power it had once contained was pouring into the soil surrounding Rebecca's grave.  Bruce doubted it. 

He stumbled back, unable to look away from Brian until he tripped on another grave. Then he sprinted past his father's car and past the gate of the cemetery and then he was in the middle of a busy sidewalk miles away in town, blood on his shaking hands. He slipped into a phone booth. 

" _ 911, what's your emergency?" _

Bruce's heart dropped. 

///

 

\---

When Bruce woke up, Tony--  _ Stark _ , he reminded himself--was gone. Bruce pushed himself onto his feet, closing his eyes for a moment of peace.   "Dr. Banner, Mr. Stark insists that if you are to leave Stark Tower, then you take with you the contents of the backpack placed outside the door." 

Bruce's shoulders dropped, but he unlocked the door and rifled through the bag. A Stark phone, cash, and a thick jacket. Bruce smiled a little despite himself. 

He pulled the jacket on, filling its pockets with enough cash to sustain him for a year if he played his cards right. He stuck the phone in his back pocket, telling himself he would get rid of it as soon as he had the chance. He left the surly bugged bag. 

J.A.R.V.I.S. directed him out of the Tower so that he came into contact with no one. 

When he finally stepped out onto the streets of New York, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He took one final look back at the Tower before he slipped into the crowd.

\---

 

***

It was cold- shit, it was freezing. Bruce was frustrated and angry, but just calm enough to keep hiking as frostbite spread across his numb fingers and toes.    
He pat his back pocket, just to make sure he hadn't lost it in the past day's trek north. The frigid air was nothing in comparison to the bite of the metal in his pocket. 

There was rumbling in his head that didn't come from the aching wind. 

_ You listen to me _ .

The Other Guy subsided. 

A few more miles and Bruce knew they had reached the end. 

No longer were there remnants of foliage or humanity. Just harsh ice and ocean. An edge. 

Bruce pulled the gun out, relishing in how cutting the metal was against his bare fingers. 

His breath fogged over the gun as he brought it up to his mouth. There was something romanticized about the taste of metal. An aesthetic he shouldn't have grown attached to. 

_ You listen to me _ , he repeated. 

He breathed in through his nose and released. 

He was falling, pushed over the edge, tumbling through his mind.

As he passed the furious Hulk, he was momentarily suspended in the beast's gaze. He heard,  _ No more _ forcefully shouted before he was jerked away. 

In the moments of his descent, he vaguely wondered why those words were so familiar. 

***

 

\---

The sharp scent of urine accompanied Bruce as he regained consciousness. There was shouting down the hall, worsening his throbbing head. He wasn't hung over, but he was something. Bruce wasn't sure how he had gotten to... wherever he was. In fact, the more he searched his memory, the more he drew a blank. He wasn't even sure what country he was in. 

He frantically searched his pockets, calming when he found the small device. 

He'd stopped pretending he was going to throw out the Stark phone a long time ago. He called Tony. 

Said he was sorry.

Said please take me back. 

Said we can do anything you want. 

"I'm on my way."

\---

 

///

Bruce felt his throat tighten as the detective closed his notebook. His eyes burned with unshed tears. 

The detective looked at Bruce was a grim smile. "Well son, in light of... everything this will be ruled self-defense. There's no way anyone could hold this against you." 

Bruce felt his breath whoosh out of him. "Thank you," he whispered. 

///

 

\---

Rain pounded down on the metal roof in sync with his heart, but all Bruce's worry washed away with the run off when Tony, barely out of the suit, pulled Bruce into his arms. 

He tried to stifle his tears, but Tony knew anyway, shushing and rocking the doctor. "It's okay," he promised. Bruce tried to believe his soulmate but he couldn't stop himself from choking out, "I'm sorry." 

Tony led Bruce away from the drug den he'd woke up in, led him several streets away to an open field where a Quinjet sat. The suit, piloted by J.A.R.V.I.S, was already tucked inside. Tony settled Bruce down in the copilot seat before he started a preflight check. 

He paused in his movements when Bruce's eyes fluttered shut for the last time. 

"I know you don't want to hear it, but I love you," the engineer whispered. 

Bruce reached over and squeezed Tony's hand before falling asleep. 

\---

 

***

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Betty," Bruce breathed. 

"Bruce? Oh my god, what- where are you?"

Bruce looked out at the small, Pakistani village. "I'm... safe, Betty. I'm safe and I'm happy. I just. I want you to know that I am ready to be a part of my own life again and I want you to be a part of yours. I want you to be happy."

"I am, Bruce."

"Good." 

"Good," she echoed. 

He continued his journey south that night. 

***

 

\---

They didn't speak until after the plane had landed, after Bruce had showered and eaten and shaved. 

They didn't speak for hours after, sitting in the living room, lights dim.

They didn't speak because Bruce couldn't, not yet, not until-

"I missed you."

Bruce looked away. 

\---

 

///

Everyone told him that the summer before high school was the best time to rip off the bandaid because everyone was new anyway. 

He didn't exactly agree, but his aunt's house seemed a lot more welcome after he escaped middle school. 

Elaine reminded him often that he didn't have to mask his intelligence for her and those words paid off when, in the summer after his junior year, he was accepted into CalTech. 

///

 

***

When Bruce crossed the border into India, he finally felt a weight lift off his shoulders. The stars seemed brighter and the air cleaner. 

He made it to the first small town before daybreak and settled in the nearby wilderness. 

When Bruce entered Calcutta, he felt a sense of home. 

When Bruce integrated into the hospital, he felt family. 

***

 

\---

"I missed you too."

"Why'd you leave then? I'm not... judging. I just want to avoid it happening again."

Bruce nodded. "I- we were intimate."

"Yes."

"I can't- My body doesn't react to intimacy the same way yours does. It doesn't like it."

"Okay."

"I'm asexual."

"Okay."

"Do you know what that means?"

"Yes."

"Okay," Bruce breathed as he was pulled into a strong embrace.

"I love you," they both murmured. 

Bruce thought,  _ I've never been this high up before _ .

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my betas, mxy and SalmonDean1979!


End file.
